Parenthood: It's Not You, It's Me

My aunt, who is way cooler than I could ever even hope to be and whose witty, wonderful blog inspired me to start this half-baked experiment in writing, recently posted an entry on her site about her new favorite TV show, a show I've been meaning to cover myself, per her request (via the only comment on here that isn't from my mother). The series in question is Parenthood, a one-hour NBC drama based on the 1989 Ron Howard film of the same name. It stars Lauren Graham (a.k.a. Lorelai Gilmore) as a 30-something single mother who moves herself and her two kids back into her parents' house in Berkeley, Calif., to be closer to the rest of her family. Peter Krause plays Graham's older, oh-so-dependable brother; Erika Christensen co-stars as her younger, type-A attorney sister; Dax Shepherd is her immature but endearing little bro; and Craig T. Nelson and Bonnie Bedelia hold the brood together (just barely) as the patriarch and matriarch of the Braverman bunch. All four Braverman offspring have their own kids and their own family dramas, but the heart of the show—and it has plenty of heart—is in their collective struggle to do right by themselves, their children, and each other.

I put the series on my (imaginary) schedule the second I heard that Lauren Graham would be taking over for Maura Tierney (who, sadly, had to bow out due to health reasons). Graham, in my opinion, is one of the most watchable actresses on television today. And she's excellent as Sarah Braverman. The whole cast is pretty fantastic, actually. I like everyone in it, including Shepherd, who I previously knew only as "that dude from Punk'd who also appeared in a really awful movie with Jessica Simpson and is inexplicably engaged to Veronica Mars." He's sweet—even, dare I say, tender—as slacker-turned-doting-dad Crosby. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's working with some truly great writing. The dialogue on the show is smart, warm, and believable. So why haven't I pledged my eternal, undying devotion yet?

It's complicated.

The way I feel about Parenthood is the way I felt about the last guy I dated. It's an old story: On paper, this guy was perfect. He was intelligent, sweet, cute, funny, charming, stable but not boring, attentive but not clingy—basically everything I thought I wanted. But for reasons I have yet to figure out—and maybe never will—I just wasn't that into him. I enjoyed our time together, but I didn't think about him when I wasn't with him, and when I was with him, I felt strangely removed from him, like whatever was happening between us had nothing to do with me.

Parenthood is the TV equivalent of that guy for me. It has all the makings of a great show—Lauren Graham! Peter Krause! That dude from Punk'd! A really cute love child! Great writing! Family dysfunction!—but the chemistry (yeah, chemistry*) just isn't there between us. I should love it—I want to love it—but right now, I mostly just like it as a friend. I often forget it even exists until it pops up on Hulu, and though I continue to watch it on my computer almost every week, I'm not really invested in it. I'm not, for lack of a better word, committed to it. And, I hate to sound like a tramp, but I could probably be tempted away from it pretty easily by a younger, hotter show with better clothes and a flashier reputation. (I like my TV like I like my men—with a pretty face and a little bit of mystery, à la Mad Men or Chuck.)

The problem, I think, is an all-too-common one in relationships: timing. I mean, for starters, there's the age difference. I'm not old enough to relate to Lauren Graham's character, but I'm too old to have anything in common with her teenage daughter. And while Peter Krause is certainly nice to look at, he's not exactly the tall, dark, and handsome stuff of fantasies—unless said fantasies involve a house in the suburbs and a regular spot in the carpool rotation. (Mine don't.) Despite what my poor health, crochety attitude, and feeble social calendar might imply, I'm only 25 years old—what I want at this point in my life is fun, excitement, freedom. I'm not looking to settle down now or (sorry, Dad) maybe ever. And that, I suppose, is the real issue. Parenthood is a great show. But it's not the kind of show you go to for a quick thrill or a brief fling. Parenthood is the show you take home to, well, your parents. It's about substance, not style; love, not lust. It demands a second glance, a deeper look. To steal an expression from one of my favorite guilty pleasures, it's a "someday" series. As in, "someday, when I'm older and wiser and all my friends have coupled up and my only companion is my 60-inch 3-D/HD flat-screen TV, I'm going to want a series like this to come home to." At that point, 20 or 40 years from now, Parenthood (the show, not the lifestyle) may very well be my perfect match. But at the moment, I'm just too emotionally barren to give it the kind of love it needs—nay, deserves. It's not the show, it's me. We want different things. And, you know, I really need to focus on my career right now. If it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually. And if not, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

I do hope we can still be friends, though.


*Guys and Dolls, anyone? Bueller? Bueller?